Talking to Kids About Social Media and Mental Health
Social media has become a big part of kids’ lives, but its effects aren’t always clear. While it can help some children feel connected, it can also contribute to mental health challenges.
According to a recent U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, research shows that adolescents who spend more than 3 hours a day on social media are twice as likely to experience poor mental health than those who don’t, including symptoms of depression and anxiety. These effects are especially concerning for teens because their brains are still developing, making them more sensitive to social pressures, peer comparisons, and emotional challenges.
J. Stuart Ablon, PhD, a Mass General Brigham psychologist, offers valuable insights on talking to kids about social media and mental health.
"The best way to help kids navigate social media is by understanding how it affects them and having open, honest conversations about their experiences," says Dr. Ablon, the founder and director of Think:Kids in the Department of Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital. In this article, he explains what parents need to know about social media’s impact on kids and how to approach meaningful conversations that promote balance and well-being.
How does social media affect mental health in kids?
Social media use has been linked to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and even eating disorders, especially in teens. Dr. Ablon explains that while the research shows a connection between social media and mental health risks, there is strong evidence to suggest that social media use can directly contribute to these challenges.
Key reasons social media may affect kids’ mental health include:
Reduced face-to-face interactions. Time spent scrolling takes away from real-life relationships that are important for healthy development.
Increased exposure to comparison. Social media often shows perfect versions of others’ lives, which can make kids feel like they don’t measure up.
Cyberbullying. Online harassment can significantly harm a child’s self-esteem and mental health.
Recognizing how social media affects mental health is an important step in helping kids build healthier habits and reducing its potential harm.
Why is social media bad for kids?
Social media platforms are designed to keep users engaged for as long as possible, often at the expense of mental health. Dr. Ablon compares them to “slot machines,” built to be addictive through endless scrolling and frequent notifications.
Challenges associated with social media use include:
Body image issues. Teens, especially girls, may start worrying about their looks because of unrealistic beauty standards and idealized images they see on social media.
Feelings of exclusion. Social media apps show what others are doing, which can lead to FOMO (fear of missing out) and feelings of rejection.
Sleep disruptions. Kids may stay up late using their phones, which can interfere with healthy sleep patterns.
Constant comparison. Seeing others’ carefully edited lives on social media can lead to unrealistic expectations and low self-confidence.
How can social media be positive for kids?
Although there are risks, social media can be a lifeline for some children. Dr. Ablon notes that kids who feel excluded or isolated in their offline lives may find supportive communities online. These connections can help them feel understood and valued, providing a sense of belonging they might not experience elsewhere.
Benefits of social media for kids:
Building community. Kids can find groups of peers who share their experiences, interests, or challenges.
Learning opportunities. Social media allows kids to explore new skills, ideas, and hobbies.
Feeling connected. It can be a way to stay in touch with friends and family, especially when they are far away.
Sharing creativity. Platforms offer opportunities for self-expression through art, writing, or other forms of media.
Social media has risks, but it also gives kids chances to connect, learn, and share their creativity. With support from parents, kids can use social media in positive ways that help them grow and feel supported.
How social media impacts kids' focus and school performance
Social media doesn’t just affect mental health—it can also impact focus and school performance. Notifications, constant updates, and the pull of endless scrolling divide kids’ attention, making it harder for them to concentrate.
Ways social media can disrupt focus and learning:
Reduced attention span. The constant buzz of notifications trains the brain to multitask, making it difficult to focus on a single task.
Interruptions during homework. Kids often switch between assignments and their devices, which can lead to incomplete or lower-quality work.
Difficulty in managing time. Hours spent on social media can cut into time for studying, extracurricular activities, and rest.
Social media can make it hard for kids to stay focused and manage their time. Helping kids set limits and stay mindful of their use can make a big difference in improving their focus and success at school.
How to talk to kids about social media and mental health
Dr. Ablon emphasizes that the key to helping kids navigate social media is not just talking to them but truly listening to their concerns. Collaborative conversations can open the door to addressing both parent and child concerns together.
Tips for starting a conversation with your child:
Be specific. Focus on one concern at a time. For example, address late-night phone use or distractions from homework, rather than trying to cover all issues at once.
Pick the right moment. Avoid starting the conversation when tensions are high. Choose a calm time when your child is more open to talking.
Ask open-ended questions. Encourage your child to share their experiences, concerns, and perspectives about social media use.
Reflect and validate. Paraphrase what your child says to show that you understand and value their feelings.
Share your concerns. After listening, explain why you're worried without jumping to solutions. This helps build trust.
Collaborate on solutions. Work together to find changes that address both your concerns and your child's needs. This increases the chances of success and buy-in.
Dr. Ablon highlights that parents and kids often share similar concerns about social media. By listening first, you can turn social media into a problem you solve together, rather than a source of conflict. This approach not only strengthens your child’s relationship with social media but also fosters a stronger bond between you and your child.
